


love me now

by stareyes



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Unrequited Love, idk what this is honestly, if u squint there's a tiny bit of jenle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23292469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stareyes/pseuds/stareyes
Summary: Jisung thinks Renjun puts the stars that shine above him to shame. If only he could tell him.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Park Jisung
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	love me now

**Author's Note:**

> this is unbetaed and plotless?????? so beware KSDJSK

There’s a feeling inside Jisung’s chest.

It’s just there, sharp and palpable, clawing out of his heart. He can’t quite name it, or more accurately, he refuses to name it because once he does, it means he admits he’s feeling that way and therefore he needs to accept that he’s feeling that way and there’s just _no way in hell_ he’s going to acknowledge that he feels that way. He still has pride, you know. 

And so, he lets the feeling sit within him as he watches the movie start inside the comfort of Chenle and Renjun’s apartment. At first, he was arguing with himself to just make that nameless stupid _ugly_ feeling go away, but at this point he has just given up. He just tries to focus on watching the movie instead. (Keyword: _tries_.)

It’s cute, the movie that is. It’s a cheesy romantic comedy that can make anyone’s heart tingle with excitement and, in a good day, Jisung would probably enjoy watching it. But right now, he can’t stop himself from noticing two boys beside him, their limbs entangled with each other’s.

That two boys are Renjun and Jeno, sitting comfortably beside each other on the other sofa beside him and Chenle. It’s not even because they’re distracting whatsoever. Actually, their eyes are glued to the screen in front of them as they silently consumed the bowl of popcorn sitting on Renjun’s lap, they weren’t being annoying at all, if anything it was Chenle who was distracting with his little side comments about the movie and its characters. Though occasionally, the two would look at each other and share a giggle over a particular scene but it’s something he and Renjun do, too. It’s weird and Jisung wants it to stop so he distracts himself by slowly stroking Chenle’s hair who was comfortably resting his head on his lap.

Chenle shifts to look at Jisung with pleading eyes before saying, “I’m cold,”

Jisung halts his movements and looks at him with an unamused expression. He knows his best friend is indirectly telling him to get him a blanket. Before he can deny Chenle and tell him to get it himself, however, Jeno intervenes with a lovely smile on his face, “I’ll get the one in your room for you.”

“You’re a life saver, hyung,” Chenle hums happily and turns his attention to the television again. Jisung, on the other hand, catches Renjun giving Jeno a sly smirk as he walked across the apartment to Chenle’s room. Right then, Jisung knows it’s another one of their treasured secrets, for Huang Renjun and Lee Jeno _only_. It’s their world and theirs _only_.

It’s cute. They’re cute. Jisung’s fine.

Jeno comes back and places the blanket over Chenle. When the boy gets settled, Jeno smiles at him warmly and pats his head before going back to where he sat.

(Jisung was almost certain Jeno wanted to lean in to kiss Chenle’s forehead but he pays no mind to it because that would be absurd. _Wouldn’t it be?_ )

Soon enough, the credits rolled and Jisung sighed when realized Chenle was sleeping soundly on his lap.

“What do you guys want to eat?” Renjun asks as his eyes shifted from Jisung to Jeno. The two of them remained silent though which made Renjun groan inwardly. “Hurry up so it can get here faster,”

“What do you guys want anyway?” Jeno says as he turned his head to Jisung and Chenle’s direction. “Do you want anything? Or Chenle?”

Renjun slaps Jeno’s hand because of that and rolls his eyes. “He’s asleep, his opinion doesn’t matter!”

And that’s how the two gets lost in their own world again, inside their bubble that Jisung would never dare burst let alone step in to. There was so much history between the two of them that it was just hard to catch up with them, even after three years of friendship. Going in would just hurt him even more and that’s what he avoids to do, at all cost.

Thus, there he was Jisung just sitting there there as the two argued on what or what not to order. Then, he decides to excuse himself.

“I’m just gonna go outside to… stretch,” He says as he tries to lift Chenle’s sleeping body up. The two elders nod their heads and Jeno gestures for him to stop.

He sits next to him and speaks softly, “I’ll replace you,”

Jisung nods and finally it’s Jeno who has a lap full of Chenle.

The cold autumn air welcomes Jisung as he stepped outside the balcony of the apartment. They’re nearly at the top floor of the apartment building so the cool night breeze was surely amplified by their height. Nonetheless, the twinkling stars and the glimmering city welcomed Jisung and that’s enough for him to endure the chilly air that surrounded him.

Jisung’s eyes travel from the city below him, to the stars above. They all shone magnificently as their glow intensified in contrast to the dark skies. It reminds him of Renjun.

Huang Renjun, a hint of light in the midst of a dark abyss. Or some other crap.

There’s so much to adore about Renjun—the way he scrunches his nose when he laughs too much, the way he bites his lips when he holds himself back from saying something snarky, or the way he pouts unknowingly when Jeno steals the last piece of jelly. But what he loves the most is how much Renjun glows.

And because of that, he just cannot help but be entranced by him. Jisung marvels at how, in any place he goes, Renjun’s bright aura just follows everywhere he goes. Because of that, he is always reminded of how everything beautiful in this world.

Little by little, he allowed himself to indulge on little pieces of Renjun as his friend. He enjoyed his company a lot and so did the elder. When he was with Renjun it as as if the world around them disappeared, too. It was just the two of them, a place where he can lose himself and focus on Renjun _only_. Indeed, he can say that they are connected with the special bond they've shared in this little world. However, he was uncertain if this world is something worth comparing to what Renjun and Jeno has. He can never be like Jeno and he can never replace Jeno. And Renjun _likes_ Jeno, at least it seems to everyone else.

Yet, he just couldn't stop himself. Perhaps, he enjoyed those moments a little too much. But what could he do? Renjun is just a beautiful soul that he couldn’t help but fall deeper and deeper for him until it was too late. It took a while for Jisung to notice it, but when it finally did, it him like a truck.

Suddenly, everything was different. He didn’t know how to act around him anymore. He did not know if Renjun noticed it, but if he did, he didn’t say anything to him anyways.

So now, he’s learning to enjoy the glow of Huang Renjun from a far. It’s a tough because Jisung likes shiny pretty things, but he can’t reach for the stars even if he tries.

“Brought you some coffee,” Jisung hears a voice say. He turns his head to the door and sees Renjun holding two mugs.

He smiles and reaches for the cup, “Thanks,”

Renjun walks closer to where he stood, sips on his cup, and sets his arm on the railing. Jisung just looks at him as he does so.

The stupid city and the stupid stars above him could never compare to this wonderful human being beside him.

“What are you looking at?” Renjun asks him, biting away the smile that threatens to spread to his face. Jisung feels the thumping on his chest accelerate and he averts his gaze to the city below him instead.

“Nothing,” He answers a little to quickly.

Renjun hums in response and shifted his body towards where Jisung stood. He placed his cup on the coffee table beside them and took his time walking towards Jisung.

“It’s not nothing,” He says quietly. Jisung did not know how to respond to that.

Instead of opening his mouth, he could already feel his cheeks color itself a shade of pink as he becomes aware of Renjun’s presence more and more.

Finally, Renjun stood before him. From his peripheral vision he could see the elder looking up at him, but he still pays him no mind. He needs to stop indulging himself with Renjun. He needs to, for himself.

“Hyung,” He says instead, and the words came out too soft that he wants to take it back. He cannot break. “What are you doing?”

He _tries_ to meet Renjun’s gaze, his eyes shifting from the elder’s face to the city below from time to time. And Renjun just looks at him, unwavering.

“Jisung,” Renjun speaks after a beat, “I like you.”

Jisung looks at Renjun incredulously, as if he just proposed to push him off the edge of the balcony. And maybe that’s really what he said, he just heard wrong.

Silence surrounded them both as they just stood there staring at each other until Jisung sees Renjun’s lips slowly jut out to a pout.

He opens his mouth once, closes it again, and inhales.

“Please say something,” Renjun breathes, his eyes glazed.

“Renjun, I like you, too.” He starts. “So much… you don’t even know…”

And right then, all of Renjun’s features light up. Quite honestly, Jisung had never seen Renjun glow like that before. He had always seen him smile lovingly at others before but not quite like this. The twinkle in Renjun’s eyes as he moves closer and envelops him to a hug is something so otherworldly that he is certain no one but him has seen it before.

And so, they hug for a while. Jisung immerses himself with the wonderful mix of jasmine and coffee on Renjun as the soft breeze of the air surrounded them. They pull away after quite some time and Jisung just stares at Renjun.

He looks at him, memorizing every detail of this Renjun— _his_ Renjun, and indulges himself. And Renjun only smiles back at him cheekily as he bites his lips.

With a small voice that Renjun could barely even hear it, Jisung asks, “Can I kiss you?”

Renjun nods as he stood on his tippy toes. Jisung leans down, hands making its way to his waist to hold him steady.

Their lips meet and everything is perfect.

They are in their own world now and no one would dare step in.

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly don't know what this is KKFJKFPF but i just love rensung so much and this was an idea that bugged be the whole holiday break the last time but i forgot i was writing it then cai said she'll wait for me to finish it and ig that motivated me???? KDSJDKSD
> 
> but anyways RENSUNG IS SO CUTE and i have been dying to write them for a while and this is just my /poor/ attempt at it hehe i also tried to be more playful with this??? but yeah i hope you guys liked it <3
> 
> also, i adore jenle too so they are there no matter how discreet KSFJKDFJKDF
> 
> comments, [ cc ](https://curiouscat.me/jenren).


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